Things I do that have a legitimate chance of killing me (day 1)

Upon further reflection of my life, it became very clear that I am not a very smart person. I do things on a regular basis that a normal, thinking person might avoid for fear of being fatally wounded. Things like taping wires to a battery and connecting them inside of a sock in the hopes that it will catch on fire. Or kicking a sealed bottle full of  dry ice and water. I do these things because they are awesome, and because so far, I have failed to die (or be irreparably hurt, really) by any of my antics. And I will continue to do stupid things until I do, because I do not learn very quickly.

And so, I bring to you, my act of idiocy for the day (thus far): I went out to get something from my car earlier, and I was sitting in the driver seat looking around for it for a good five minutes before I realized I’d forgotten what I was looking for. So I started playing with my car lighter. I’ve always wondered what the application of this was for a non-smoker. So, I pushed it in and started playing with it, looking at the coils and whatnot.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that me + a very hot small object = burnt fingers. I will ask for a genius, however, in figuring out how I managed to burn my face AND wind up dropping the car lighter out of the door in such a manner that it rolled under the car to the exact furthest point from every opening.

So, I had to get the car lighter out from under my car. I don’t like to waste gas, so instead of moving my car back 15 feet, getting the lighter and then rolling forward again, I decided to crawl under the car. From the driver’s side. Which face right into the street. Cars drive on the street, and I don’t know about you, but I rarely look for a pair of random legs in the middle of the road while I am driving. A car drove by and honked as they very nearly crushed the lower half of my body. As they honked, I smacked my head on the bottom of my car. Had I crawled about 4 inches further, I would have smacked my head on a very sharp looking object that probably would have done some real damage to my already underdeveloped brain.

I still don’t remember what I went to my car to get.

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